The truth is, anger is just an emotion; everyone is going to experience it from time to time.  For some, it is a very familiar comfortable “go to” emotion.  For others, it can be avoided, ignored, or misunderstood.  I think the more we familiarize ourselves with anger the more likely we are to use it in a constructive way.

Here are some other general thoughts to consider about anger. “If you hurt you will hurt others.”  That is probably not what most of us want to bring to the people in our life.  But we can unwittingly be causing harm to others.  Secondly, “anger is often about an unspoken request.”  Maybe we didn’t get something we wanted or we haven’t set a boundary with others.  And lastly, “the root of most anger is unresolved hurt.”  Sometimes people carry this sort of pain around their whole life, not taking time to deal with it.  All of these points are important to consider in exploring your anger.  Further, anger over time left ignored can grow to more insidious moods and emotions that stick around, such as resentment or bitterness.

For those intensely familiar with anger it can become sort of an addiction; an easily triggered surface emotion expressed externally.  This can look like yelling, hitting, cursing, and other sorts of physical and verbal violence.  Others choose to keep anger internalized, which can show up as stuffing it until you explode, developing physical illness, and passive aggressive behavior.  Passive aggressive behavior will slowly kill any relationship. Neither of these styles of dealing with anger seem like a good solution.  

So what are our options here?  Prepare yourself to let things go; you will get hurt from time to time.  There will be some unfairness in life and you will face disappointment.  Managing expectations and adjusting our thoughts to more flexible thinking can allow other possibilities to surface.  Forgiveness may be in order; when one realizes that forgiveness is for you not for the other person, it can be very freeing.  Sometimes taking a good look at what you can control and what you cannot control and moving to some acceptance of that is all you need to move some emotions around.